Everyone loves a dumb criminals. Perhaps we appreciate the poetic justice of bad guys getting caught via their own idiocy, or perhaps it’s the entertainment value of watching them take a fall. Whatever the reason, it is the rare person who doesn’t enjoy reading about busted brigands, so hold onto your hat for five that take the cake.
Criminal 1: The Unobservant Users
Sure, a lot of crimes are motivated by drug use, but not many of them revolve around fake drugs. Or, to be more specific, around the cremated remains of one human and two dogs. Waldo Soroa and Matrix Andaluz, a gang of two teenaged thieves broke into a Florida woman’s house searching for a nice ride on the white roller coaster. What they got instead was an ashy surprise. They discovered that the fine dust they’d put up their noses was far from the cocaine they’d imagined it to be. Perhaps next time they’ll be more careful. Then again, the criminals weren’t arrested until they staged another robbery, so they apparently don’t learn.Criminal 2: The Karate Casualty Criminals
It’s only in the movies that a bad guy meets an unsavory end at the hands of good guys he attacked, right? Wrong, actually, as a Colombian burglar discovered, to his chagrin, when he decided to rob a house full of black belt bad*sses. After stealing a laptop, some cameras, and other valuables, the thief targeted the home of Cristian Garces, pan-American karate champion. The thief, needless to say, came off worse.Criminal 3: The Foolish Facebooker
Cyber crime is a big deal these days, and stopping identity theft has become a major concern for organizations like the Federal Trade Commission, which has moved it to the top of its priority list. But it still happens, sometimes in the dumbest ways imaginable. 19-year-old Rodney Knight, Jr., is one such idiot, breaking into a house to steal a computer, cash and a coat from journalist Marc Fisher. Afterwards, the criminal logged into the son’s Facebook account and posted a taunting picture of himself, complete with coat and cash. Let’s just say he wasn’t hard to catch.Criminal 4: The Photo ID Flasher
Most criminals aren’t willing to show their faces, let alone their legal name, date of birth, address and license number. Some, however, are too stupid to know what’s good for them. One robber, entering a corner store and robbing the cashier at gunpoint, then demanded a bottle of Scotch in addition to the pilfered cash. The attendant refused, saying he didn’t think the robber was 21. Finally angered, the bandit pulled out his license and showed the cashier as proof he was of age. The cashier agreed, handing him the bottle and calling the police as soon as the robber had gone. The rest is history.Criminal 5: The Ecstatic Escapee
Most people who’ve successfully gotten away with something generally fade quietly into the background of a small tropical island or South American village. Not Craig Lynch, who escaped from a prison in Suffolk, England in September 2009. Apparently the thrill of the chase was enough to make Lynch risk recapture: he spent the subsequent 4 months posting clues as to his whereabouts on Facebook seemingly just waiting to get caught, which he eventually was. The saddest part? He was almost done with his seven-year sentence, which is surely no longer the case.by Lauren Rose